PLATFORM : ‘Harry and Louise’ in a Surprise Turn

ANNOUNCER (From the Gridiron Club Dinner): And now a message from Harry and Louise.

PRESIDENT CLINTON, “Harry”: Hi, Louise. How was your day?

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, “Louise”: Well, fine, Harry, until now.

PRES. CLINTON: Gee, Louise, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.

MRS. CLINTON: Well, it’s worse than that. I’ve just read the Clinton Health Security Plan.

PRES. CLINTON: Health-care reform, sounds like a great idea to me.

MRS. Clinton: Well, I know, but some of these details sure scare the heck out of me.

PRES. CLINTON: Like what?

MRS. CLINTON: Well, like, for example, it says here, on page 3,764, that under the Clinton Health Security Plan, we could get sick.

PRES. CLINTON: That’s terrible!

MRS. CLINTON: Well, I know, and look at this. It gets worse. On page 12,743 . . . no, I’ve got that wrong, it’s page 27,655, it says that eventually we are all going to die.

PRES. CLINTON: Under the Clinton Health Plan? Do you mean after Bill and Hillary put all those new bureaucrats and taxes on us, we’re still all going to die?

MRS. CLINTON: Even Leon Panetta.

PRES. CLINTON: Wow! That is scary! I’ve never been so frightened in all my life.

MRS. CLINTON: Me neither, Harry.

PRES. and MRS. CLINTON: There’s got to be a better way!

ANNOUNCER: Paid for the the Coalition to Scare Your Pants Off.