WORLD CUP USA ’94 / THE FIRST ROUND : SPOTLIGHT : BUT NOT THE BANKRUPTS

Confused spectators can be found milling around the MLS information booth at the Rose Bowl , staring at two sign-up sheets.

“We sign here for what? To win tickets for the next game?” they ask the man in the booth, Alfonso Nunez.

No, Nunez tells them. The first sheet is a mailing list for the Los Angeles franchise that will begin play in the United States’ new professional soccer league, Major League Soccer, next April. The second sheet is for nickname suggestions.

“We’ve been getting mainly man-made and natural disasters,” Nunez reports. “You know--the Quakes, the Temblors, the Smog, the Riot.”

Also the Killer Bees, the Shakers, the Reefers, the Rioters and the Sol--other quintessential artifacts of the L.A. lifestyle.

Other nominees included:

--The Goal. (Guaranteed, one per game.)

--The Corinthians. (They can really pound the leather.)

--The Dons. (Been there.)

--The Express. (Done that.)

--The Angels. (No! No! Run for your lives!)

And a personal favorite: The Twinkies.

With a longer shelf life than most American professional soccer leagues.