LAUGH LINES
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Trash Talk: According to news reports, about 25% of all trash in this country is recycled. “Of course, that number goes up exponentially in Hollywood, where they recycle everything.” (Ira Lawson)
On the Campaign Trail: Bob Dole is going to campaign for his wife, Elizabeth. “Yeah, he was soooo good at it last time.” (Daily Scoop)
The Business Beat: Procter & Gamble is laying off 15,000 workers worldwide. “That makes 15,000 more people who believe Procter & Gamble is aligned with the devil.” (Daily Scoop)
Police Beat: Police in Iowa are concerned that drinking and vandalism among Amish teenagers has gotten out of control. “Apparently, a lot of Amish kids have been drinking too much and then spray painting ‘Screw Ye’ on things.” (Conan O’Brien)
Selling Points: George Jones’ wrecked SUV is up for sale. “Half-full bottle of vodka found beside him sold separately.” (Bob Mills)
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Chris Pina’s Essential
List of the Day
Blues artists to avoid:
* Blind Lemon Pledge
* Muddy Feet
* Sonny Boy George
* Al “Mojo” Gore
* T-Bone Binks
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Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
