CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1: Florida State: 11-0: Mum’s the word as team begins early plans for QB Weinke’s surprise “30th” birthday party.

2: Nebraska: 9-1: Some players struggling in core requirement class, “Understanding the BCS.”

3: Virginia Tech: Sorry, Temple wins don’t count in RCS (Rankman championship series) standings.

4: Tennessee: 7-2: NCAA.com investigators take over gumshoe dirty work from ESPN.com.

5: Florida: 9-2: After shank against FSU, Spurrier forced back to Genius Qualifying School.

6: Wisconsin: 9-2: Rankman predicts Ron Dayne float will be Grand Prize winner in Rose Parade.

7: Texas: 9-2: Rankman tabbing Longhorns for his preseason No. 1 next year.

8: Alabama: DuBose nominated for ESPY in new “comeback from scandal” category.

9: Marshall: 10:0: Good news: Motor City Bowl berth comes with one free oil change.

10: Michigan State: 9-2: Spartans happy to be in any bowl game (curse you Michigan!)

11: Michigan: 9-2: Wolverines flash BCS security badge and are rushed straight to $12-million bowl game.

12: Kansas State: 10-1: Rankman joke: what do they call BCS bowl selection day in Manhattan, Kan.? Passover.

13: Minnesota: 8-3: Mason chooses academic fraud at home over football fraud at Louisiana State.

14: Southern Mississippi: 8-3: “Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton.”

15: Mississippi: 8-2: “Old times there are not forgotten.”

16: Mississippi State: 8-2: “Look away, look away, look away Dixie land.”

17: Penn State: 9-3: And you thought JoePa couldn’t see straight before three consecutive loses.

18: Arkansas: 7-3: Wins against Tennessee and Mississippi State improve province’s chance for statehood.

19: Purdue: 7-4: Drew Brees checks throwing arm into rehab center.

20: Georgia: 7-3: In lieu of flowers for Uga V, owner requests donations to Augie Doggie Foundation.

21: Georgia Tech: 7-3: In convention floor interview with Dan Rather, Hamilton concedes Heisman race to Dayne.

22: Boston College: 8-2: Over the river and through the woods, to Blacksburg we will go.

23: Stanford: 7-3: Cancel the Rose Bowl halftime show and just have Tiger Woods do that ball trick.

24: Hawaii: 8-3: Regular season over, unless you count the Washington State game.

25: Louisiana Tech: 8-2: In town for SC game, team plans sleepover at Terry Bradshaw’s house.