LAUGH LINES

Drinking on the Job: “A study on alcoholism in the workplace . . . reveals that, in most cases, fellow employees are more likely [than the boss] to spot a drinking problem in a co-worker. . . . Of course bosses wouldn’t know. They’re the reason most guys start drinking in the first place.” (Ira Lawson)

A Fashion Statement: “Jennifer Lopez [recently introduced] her new signature clothing line. She knows nothing about fashion. It’s merely a moneymaking scheme. You can see right through it.” (Argus Hamilton)

Something in the Air: “A family says they may sue [an airline] for making them sit next to a dead passenger. They say . . . the guy died on the flight, and the flight attendants actually sat him in an upright position before serving the in-flight meal. . . . The guy was strapped to the seat, and the airline defended it, [saying] he wouldn’t fit in the overhead compartment.” (Jay Leno)

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