He’ll Be Queen for a Day, if He Isn’t DQ’d

Dallas Maverick owner Mark Cuban, who was fined an NBA-record $500,000 Tuesday for his criticism of game officials, said the league’s director of officials, Ed Rush, “might have been a great ref, but I wouldn’t hire him to manage a Dairy Queen.”

Minneapolis-based Dairy Queen responded in a news release on Thursday:

” ... We like the publicity he’s generated for us. But Mr. Cuban may be surprised to find out how much it takes to manage a Dairy Queen.

“We invite Mr. Cuban to manage a Dairy Queen for a day.”

In an email message to Bloomberg News, Cuban accepted Dairy Queen’s offer.

“I would love to manage a DQ for a day,” he said. “Do they give an employee discount?”

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Soft-serve with a smile: Cuban said he mentioned Dairy Queen “because I love ‘em.

“I would love to invite a DQ manager to come on my TV show and discuss the job,” Cuban said.

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Trivia time: Which quarterback holds the NFL record for playoff touchdown passes?

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Deadly option: Bernie Lincicome in the Rocky Mountain News:

“So Mike Shanahan has decided to follow himself rather than Steve Spurrier. A wise choice, but not without risk. Having been given a lifetime commitment from Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, Shanahan’s only out is to be declared legally dead.”

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It’s all over: Greg Cote in the Miami Herald: “Upsets happen, sure. But a St. Louis-Pittsburgh Super Bowl looms as hugely likely--and the Rams’ second hoist of the Vince Lombardi trophy in three seasons seems even more likely still.

“The Rams are a dome team [The Greatest Show on Turf] that [will] see only domes in the playoffs, including the Super Bowl in New Orleans.”

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Always crowded: A-Company Inc. in Boise, Idaho, has landed a $3-million contract for what might be the most sought-after seats at the Salt Lake City Olympics--the porta-potties.

The job is so big that A-Company has had to partner with four other firms to supply the 2,600 portable toilets Olympic organizers ordered for the Winter Games.

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Hang-ups: Boo Weekley is making his first PGA Tour start in the Sony Open in Hawaii.

The former mini-tour star plays in sneakers because golf shoes hurt his feet and rain pants because cotton pants cause him to break out in a rash.

No mention if he was allergic to sand.

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Looking back: On this day in 1970, the Kansas City Chiefs defeated the Minnesota Vikings, 23-7, in Super Bowl IV in New Orleans. Mike Garrett, a former USC tailback, scored a Kansas City touchdown on a five-yard run.

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Trivia answer: Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs, 45.

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And finally: Hall of famer-elect Ozzie Smith completed a marvelous, game-saving double play against the Dodgers in 1992 by touching second base, leaping over a sliding Lenny Harris and throwing to first from midair.

“How the hell did you ever get out of my way?” Harris asked. Smith replied: “Son, you were on the third floor, and I went up to the sixth floor.”