Tell-all ratings

Carina CHOCANO expertly reviewed the bumper crop of pending summer releases, providing a profound analysis of the cliched, old-hat, repetitive, borrowed and stale themes that most contain. Current movie ratings protect children from disturbing films, and that’s fine. But what movie-going adults need today is a rating system that protects them from movies coming in the summer onslaught, to save them from boredom -- or, worse -- from gagging up their popcorn.

The following adult-rating system should be required on all summer movies:

EP: Exploitative Pap

FF: Formula Flick

NT: Nostalgia Trip

RR: Ridiculous Remake

SS: Sappy Sequel

TT: Teen Tantrum

According to the best information available, this will cover 98.5% of the summer films.

Sam McCarver

Dana Point