Weddings in the good old days

Thank you for putting things in the proper perspective [“Who Says a Wedding Is About the Bride?” by Barbara E. Hernandez, May 25]. A wedding should be something to share with others rather than an occasion to flaunt and a bid for presents.

Before I put in my two cents’ worth, I would like to tell you about the first wedding I attended. When I was 5 years old my parents took me to the wedding of a family friend. The ceremony was small and simple, but had all the trimmings. It was a candlelight affair in an elegant mansion. There was one bridesmaid who wore a turquoise watered-silk gown. The bride wore a simple, elegant white gown. Then there was a reception at a charming old house, with hors d’oeuvres and the wedding cake. Since then, I believed that was the way a wedding should be.

Now, in regard to your tips I would like to present my own.

Tossing the bouquet wrecks the flowers and not all guests get a chance to catch it. Start another tradition such as leaving little party favors so everybody can have a souvenir.

Alas, there will always be the single girls’ table -- and also the single men’s bull session.

Destination weddings may be a ruse. The couple doesn’t want to hurt people’s feelings by whittling down the guest list so they make it harder to attend.

Asking for money is beyond tacky. I have never encountered such bad taste when I was invited to a wedding, but lately I have been reading about couples being really brazen about it. Also, no more compulsory gift giving. Wedding invitations should end with a note saying, “Our present is your presence.”

Lose the white gown -- no way! White stands out without being loud, and the bride and groom should be the center of attention.

GRACE HAMPTON

Burbank

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Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed the Tell column. I teach article writing at USC and I’m bringing the column to show students how we can take ordinary observations, add humor, mix well with good writing and create a wonderful column.

MADELYN CAIN-INGLESE

Los Angeles