How to turn the classic cup of dirt into a malted milkshake
- Share via
See more from the L.A. Times in Google Search. Set us as preferred
I was raised on the Food Network of the early 2000s and can remember cozying up on the couch on chilly fall mornings and — slack-jawed and eyes glazed over — watching back-to-back-to-back Halloween-themed episodes of my favorite shows.
Inevitably, one of the hosts would make a cup of dirt.
A cup of dirt, in case you aren’t familiar, is a dessert consisting of chocolate pudding, crushed chocolate cookies and a few gummy worms. It’s supposed to look like … a cup of dirt.
This year, as fall started creeping its cold fingers down summer’s back and I started to brainstorm Halloween ideas, I couldn’t stop thinking about that dang cup of dirt.
As I kicked the recipe around in my head, I realized I’d never even had a cup of dirt. A quick Google search yielded endless recipes that were basically all the same thing. Pudding, cookies, worms.
I wanted to make something different, but I felt a bit stumped.
- Share via
I didn’t really want to make pudding. Or panna cotta. Or budino. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but they all sounded like a lot of work. If there’s one thing I’m usually trying to avoid, it’s a lot of work.
I’d almost given up on the idea, when a cosmic sign landed on my Instagram feed.
Henry’s Secret Ice Cream, a recent “if you know, you know”-type venture by chef Bradley Ray, was releasing a collaboration pint with Mona Holmes, an editor at Eater Los Angeles, of one of my all-time favorite ice cream flavors: Chocolate Malted Krunch.
Growing up in San Diego, I’d get Thrifty’s ice cream every time I went to Rite-Aid, and I’d always get a big, cylindrical scoop of Chocolate Malted Krunch. It’s a fluffy, light chocolate malted ice cream base with flecks of chocolate and tiny pearls of malt. It’s awesome.
When I saw Henry’s post about the flavor, I got an idea. What about a malted milkshake cup of dirt?
I’d call it the … chocolate … malted cup of … dirt shake … crunch? Or something.
Henry’s opens their orders for ice cream on Wednesdays at noon, and they often sell out very quickly. So, I set a few alarms and sat glued to my computer, refreshing the website every few seconds until orders opened.
I got a pint!
This past Sunday, I drove out toward their storefront in West Hollywood to pick it up. On my way there, since I’m not in that part of town too often, I decided to have a solo lunch at Darling by Sean Brock, which was recently included on the Los Angeles Times 101 Best Restaurants list.
I got the five-fat fried chicken. And the cornbread. OK, and the burger. Fine, and I ordered grits, but they brought me fries. ALL RIGHT, yeesh, I also got the peanut tart. It’s Wednesday now as I write this, and I’m somehow still full.
After I’d picked up my pint from Henry’s, I started collecting the rest of my ingredients. I’m not a huge fan of traditional gummy worms, but since they felt like a pretty crucial part of a cup of dirt, I decided to head to Mel and Rose, a gift shop that I knew to have a respectable gummy selection.
As I’d hoped, they had the German version of Sour S’ghetti made up of only the red noodles. My favorite. These would be my worms.
At the Super King Markets in Glendale, I searched for my crumbly dirt topping and picked up a big, squishy chocolate bundt cake and a pack of Oreos. Certainly these would come in handy.
Next, I headed to Vons, where I found many more options for my dirt. I got a box of Tate’s chocolate cookies, malt balls, chocolate-covered pretzels and mini-marshmallows (these last ones would be my perlite … which I guess makes it more of a “cup of gardening soil”).
I was heading down the baking aisle toward the cash registers when I saw it. The thing I’d been hoping to find all along — Milo, a delicious, chocolate-flavored malt powder.
Last year, I had my first Milo dinosaur, a Southeast Asian treat that’s basically a glass of iced Milo topped with a generous pile of dry Milo powder. This would be the fine crumbs for my dirt mixture, and maybe I’d even put a little spoon of the powder on top.
The next day, I threw on my Halloween costume — what can only be called “a scary hamburger” — and headed to the test kitchen to make my cup of dirt.
I started with my dirt mixture, breaking, chopping and mashing my Oreos, chocolate cookies, malt balls and chocolate-covered pretzels. Then, I tore in little bits of my bundt cake and added the mini-marshmallows and a few spoonfuls of Milo powder, and mixed it all up to combine. It looked great, and even held together when squeezed like good soil should.
Next, I made my malt by blending a pint of my Mona’s Malted Crunch from Henry’s with a third of a cup of milk, a spoon of peanut butter and half of a banana. Yum.
Then, I assembled my cup of dirt shake. First, a layer of malt, then a few sour worms and a layer of my dirt mixture. I repeated the layers until my glass was full. The final layer was, of course, dirt, which I adorned with half of a Milano cookie fashioned into a tombstone and a little tuft of grass (that is, a small sprig of mint).
Let me tell you — it’s rich, and it’s good. I don’t have kids (still waiting to hear from the doctor if I’m even able to reproduce), but if I did, I think they’d be pretty excited to have one of these bad boys in their hands.
So, make it for your kids, or maybe just make it for the little kid inside of you, if they’re still in there. You could even put a little whisky in the milkshake. I won’t tell anyone.
Happy eating,
Cody
P.S. If you want to see my scary hamburger costume, check our Instagram later for the video version of this recipe!
Malted Cup of Dirt Shake
This recipe is inspired by memories of watching old Halloween-themed episodes of cooking shows as a child and — maybe more importantly — by my love of malts. For the dirt topping, feel free to follow your imagination and taste, substituting or replacing any of the ingredients with your favorite chocolate cookies or treats while still keeping the visual appearance of a varied, crumbly soil.
Get the recipe.
Cook time: 20 minutes. Serves 4.
Have a cooking question?
