The Times’ NBA rankings

Baby, You’re a Rich Man

1. MIAMI (8-1) Injury-plagued Heat becomes The Big Cheering Section. (1)

2. OKLAHOMA CITY (7-2) All quiet on the Westbrook front as Thunder shakes sideline drama. (2)

3. CHICAGO (7-2) Say what? First loss was to Golden State. (3)

We Can Work It Out

4. PORTLAND (5-2) Lockout-compressed madness: Blazers whack Lakers, walloped by Suns. (6)

5. DENVER (6-3) Nuggets deeper than mid-winter snow drift outside Pepsi Center. (8)

6. ORLANDO (5-3) Dwight Howard trade rumors continue to outnumber Elvis sightings. (7)

7. SAN ANTONIO (6-2) Talk about tough breaks: Manu Ginobili out, Gary Neal in. (9)

8. INDIANA (6-2) First win in Boston since Celtics came together, economy fell apart. (5)

9. LAKERS (5-4) Kobe Bryant wears protective oven mitt on sore wrist after roasting Warriors. (4)

10. CLIPPERS (4-2) Even with Chris Paul in fold, help still wanted in defense, rebounding. (11)

11. ATLANTA (6-3) At 27, Ivan Johnson could be a rookie on verge of first gray hair. (13)

12. BOSTON (4-4) Celtics have what rest of NBA wants: back-to-back-to-back-to-back days off. (17)

13. MEMPHIS (3-4) Just when Zach Randolph seems dependable, his knee gives out. (15)

14. PHILADELPHIA (5-2) Last team to play home opener is first to sell “patriotic” tickets for $17.76. (18)

15. DALLAS (4-5) White House could have new Cuban crisis if Mavericks owner zings Obama. (14)

Help!

16. NEW YORK (4-4) The World’s Most Famous Arena hosts The World’s Most Overhyped Team. (16)

17. PHOENIX (3-4) Hovering around .500 means Suns get to keep Steve Nash a bit longer. (21)

18. NEW ORLEANS (2-6) Disillusioned fans don’t renew season tickets, citing “basketball reasons.” (10)

19. CLEVELAND (4-3) Uh-oh alert: Team also started 4-3 last season on way to 19-win disaster. (24)

20. GOLDEN STATE (2-5) Rookie guard Klay Thompson has a fan in Lakers’ broadcast booth. (12)

21. TORONTO (3-5) Call them velociraptors when they speed through seven games in nine days. (25)

22. HOUSTON (2-6) You have a problem outside city limits: Rockets are 0-5 on road. (20)

23. MILWAUKEE (2-5) Bucks seem lost even before Andrew Bogut went MIA. (23)

24. UTAH (4-3) Suggested music for Bynum’s drop-in Wednesday: “I Can’t Drive 55.” (27)

25. MINNESOTA (2-5) Slight thaw may be in store for franchise stuck in cryogenic mode. (30)

26. DETROIT (2-5) No worries of a reprise of “The Brawl” since The Palace is empty. (28)

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

27. SACRAMENTO (3-5) Anaheim would be perfect spot for Mickey Mouse operation. (19)

28. CHARLOTTE (2-6) First team to have playing-out-the-string feel in opening week. (22)

29. NEW JERSEY (2-7) Only another appearance by Snooki could compound this mess. (26)

30. WASHINGTON (0-7) Wizards act so entitled one player thinks they’ve clinched playoff berth. (29)