A ‘Gourmet Safari’ on the Kern River Proves You’re Never Too Old for A Wet and Wild Adventure

I am reminded of Roger Murtaugh’s immortal words, delivered by Danny Glover in “Lethal Weapon,” as the rubber raft I’m in plunges into a Class IV whitewater rapid on the Kern River, up in the Sierra National Forest.

“I’m too old for this s***!” runs through my head as I slide off the seat down into the footwell, rattling my helmeted brain a bit, but at least I still have my paddle in hand. Happily, I am laughing and hanging on for dear life as my raft mates and expert guide bring us through unscathed. As the water calms, I clamber back onto the seat, ready for the next rapid to arrive.

I’ve been doing this for two days, along with my favorite adventure-seeking friend. She and I have tested our limits across the globe for over 25 years, but at this point I am asking for the senior discount and coddling my arthritis. But when the opportunity to jump on Momentum River Expeditions’ Kern River Gourmet Safari whitewater trip presented itself, I just had to say yes.

A Return to Whitewater

Paddling whitewater was once a passion of mine, with rivers like the Pacuare, the Upper Navua, the Allagash and others with Class IV and V rapids on my list of already conquered experiences. So with Momentum’s assurance that if my hands got too sore to paddle then our award-winning expert guide Arnaldo Céspedes Pérez would cover for me, I grabbed my much-younger friend and in late June we headed north to Kernville, trying not to worry that we really were too old for this... well, you know. The bonus? The weather was perfect, as California’s summer days often are.

Cut to watching her climb up a high rock and jump off into the river toward the end of our second day out and we had our answer. We’d done it all: run the fast water with Arnaldo steady in the stern, slept in Momentum’s Backcountry Camp’s slightly elevated tents (cots with pads, a communal outdoor toilet, no showers or running water), dined on excellent food prepared by Chef Matthew Domingo (both in camp and on the river), made a bunch of new friends and felt incredibly happy to still be able to dip into real adventure. And all only a three-hour drive north of L.A.

Momentum’s Kern trips run from May to August, with dam-released water keeping the river high throughout the summer. We stayed in Kernville at the rustic Sierra Gateway Cottages the night the trip concluded, then kept on going north to take in more of California’s gorgeous Sierra Nevada wilderness and some unexpected places along the way.

Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks

(Courtesy of Jenny Peters)

If you’ve never been to Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks, the two national parks that come a distant second to Yosemite in the Sierras, with only half of its yearly visitors, here’s your reminder that you’re never too old to see some of the world’s less-known wondrous places. Begin with the home of the Giant Sequoias, those massive ancient trees that only grow naturally within a 260-mile region on the western slopes of the Sierras.

Seeing the largest tree in the world was our goal, finding our way into Sequoia National Park’s Giant Forest, where the General Sherman Tree has stood for over 2,500 years. It’s the largest tree in the world and anchors the Giant Forest, where the easy Congress Trail hike took us into a heavenly stand of Sequoias. On our way into the park, we drove through the Tunnel Log, cut in a dead tree in 1937, and marveled at Moro Rock, the lesser known to Yosemite’s El Capitan, but still a majestic granite rock surrounded by stunning forest scenery.

On to Kings Canyon National Park further north, we meandered along the Scenic Byway, 50 miles of twisty mountain road to see incredible views and spectacular Kings Canyon and Grizzly Falls. Finding Zumwalt Meadows at the end of the road was our goal, for another lovely wilderness hike. This one near the Kings River has been known to attract bears, but we only encountered butterflies, hawks and wildflowers along the way.

Staying at John Muir Lodge in the park was a natural for us, as that famed conservationist was responsible for the establishment of Yosemite and Sequoia as national parks in 1890. Plus, the homey lodge was a perfect spot for the last leg of our Sierra Nevada explorations, one with a distinctly different focus.

Finding California Wine in Unexpected Places

Shifting our focus to our love of wine, we went off to visit some lesser-known wine-producing places in California, to the wine AVA located not too far from the mountains. The Madera AVA sits on the edge of the mountains, and while there are not many wineries here, the diversity is fascinating – and delicious.

Birdstone Winery in the city of Madera is open Friday to Sunday and pours a selection of tasty wines, ranging from Chardonnay and Rosé to reds like Barbera, Primitivo and Malbec. Ficklin Vineyards is an award-winning premium port wine producer in the Madera AVA, making distinctly drinkable red port (fortified wine) like the Old Vine Tinta and the Tawny Port since 1946. The family-owned winery even makes a rosé port and the Adagio Port Blanc, a smooth white after-dinner sip that may change your whole attitude toward fortified wines.

Toca Madera Winery does dark, deep red wines like Zinfandel and Malbec; taste them at the winery in Madera on the weekends, and enjoy live music there on Sundays, too.

Yosemite Calls for One More Stop

If time allows you to keep on going north, then Yosemite National Park might just call to you. If you’ve never seen El Capitan or Bridalveil Fall, it really is a bucket-list, UNESCO World Heritage natural wonder of the world, so make time to get there, even if you’ve finally made it north through the Sierras after tackling the Kern River whitewater during the crowded summer months. You’ll never know how spectacular it is from photos or videos.

We’ve done the park repeatedly, so visiting that hugely popular park in late June made us think twice and say no, but just the thought of it has us planning another road trip up to that absolutely iconic place in the fall. Waiting for the crowds to start thinning out and the mountain weather to take a turn toward cooler temperatures seems like a fine idea, for you’re never too old to do Yosemite just one more time.